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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Forgive Me!!!

Just two nights and then the mighty EVE exam, and I was still stuck with introduction.
‘Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,’ I said to myself.
 Then my cell phone beeped and I closed my book. At least I have a reason to close my book now, I thought.
It was a message from Shilpa Rajgaria, a friend of mine.
   Let me introduce you all to her. Eight months ago I wasn’t so accustomed to Facebook. I logged into my Orkut account and kept on adding unknown girls. One such girl was Shilpa. Now, in these eight months we became really close friends. We hanged around together at least thrice a week. Be it walking on the pavements or smoking hookah in Aqua Java, partying without her was insensible to me. In these eight months I also met and bonded well with Shilpa’s boyfriend Karan.
Karan and I used to booze late night (till 31st Jan after which I decided not to booze). Shilpa and Karan became among my best of friends in all these eight months.

Back to present now, I checked the message from Shilpa.
I replied…
Me: Studying…I mean trying to study… actually I am thinking about her…
Shilpa: Y don’t you frgt her?? She is not the gal for you, she doesn’t deserve you…
Move on…think abt the othr gals…u’ll get lot better gals than her…
Me: For example??

Then the reply she gave left me shocked…
Think about me…I am also good looking, sexy and i understand u well…we can be a gr8 couple…

For a moment I thought she was joking…so I decided to continue with this…
What abt Karan? Will you be able to live without him?
Shilpa: Obviously…I don’t love him…I hav always loved u…I can frgt him but not u…
Me: Hold on a minute…r u serious??
Shilpa: Yes…you have any doubt abt it?
Me: Sorry Shilpa but this can’t happen… I love Nidhi and I can’t think about anyone else…bye…guess i hav to study now…hav exams.
I threw the phone on the bed, still shocked and stuck. Tears started rolling down form my eyes. I opened my EVE book again.
‘I love Nidhi and only Nidhi, no one else,’ I kept on saying in my mind.
Then my phone beeped again. This time it was a call. It was from Shilpa.
‘Hello,’ I said softly.
‘Sam, I really love you,’ Shilpa said. She was crying.
‘Shilpa please, try to understand,’
‘Why can’t you love me? Tell me, you only said once I am one of the most gorgeous gals you have met, then why can’t you love me?’ she shouted on the phone.
‘Shilpa, love isn’t about just looking good. Yes, you are still one of the most gorgeous gals I’ve met, but that doesn’t men I love you. I already love someone else,’
‘Please Sam,’ she kept on crying.
‘This won’t work Shilpa. If I would have been single, the story would have been different. But now, I already love her, I can’t give her place to any other gal in this world,’ I tried to make her understand.
‘But she will never love you, I will,’
‘Never say never, she’ll love me, she will,’ I said as my voice became heavy.
She disconnected the phone. I didn’t call back. Next morning I got a call form Karan.
‘Hey bro, can you meet me in Newalipur?’
‘Ya sure, in half an hour,’ I said as I went to meet him.
He was waiting in the triangular park. As soon as he saw me he ran towards me and punched on my chest.
I fell on the ground.
‘What’s this?’ I said groaning with pain.
‘This is for wooing my girlfriend,’ he said and kicked me.
This time I had to hit back. I caught his leg, pulled him down and punched on his face. Blood came out from his nose. Within minutes, we were engaged in fighting, not one of those shown on bollywood films, but the way dogs fight, kicking and punching each other.
Ten minutes later, we were exhausted and the people on stroll there pulled us apart.
‘Fuck you asshole,’ he shouted.
‘Mind your language Karan,’ I shouted back.
‘I won’t! Do whatever you want, you are a bastard, and your Nidhi is a bitch,’ he shouted.
The mention of Nidhi’s name as a bitch aroused my temper. I went forward and kicked on his abdomen.
‘How dare you call her a bitch? Next time if I see your face, I swear on her, I’ll smack it,’ I said holding his collar.
‘Even I don’t wish to see your face again,’ he said and spit on the ground. I went away from there, and then deleted his name from my contacts. i'll never contact him again, I swore.
While returning home I got a call from Shilpa, She said ‘Sam, I broke up with Karan,’
‘Good. What can I do about it?’ I said sternly. I was still fuming inside. How dare that son of a pig call Nidhi a bitch? If murder wouldn’t have been a crime; I would have murdered that bloody fucking Karan.
‘Sam, one last time I am asking. Can you never love me?’ she asked softly.
‘Its not only you, I can never love anyone else. I just love her too much,’
‘Okay Sam, hope you’ll keep her happy. She is lucky, congratulate her on my behalf. She has got a great lover. Don’t worry; she’ll understand your love. Gals generally take time but when they start loving, they just love with whole heart. She’ll be yours. May God bless you two. Bye Sam, bye forever,’ She said and disconnected the phone.
After reaching home, when I called her back, it was not reachable. Till today, it’s not reachable. She doesn’t have a Facebook account, and doesn’t come online in Orkut since October. I guess, I lost complete contact with her.
I am sorry for hurting you Shilpa, till now you are one of the most gorgeous gals I’ve met, but I love Nidhi, and will always love her, even after I die. If possible, forgive me.

Monday, April 4, 2011

My Last Date With Alaya!!!!

 After I wrote the story Making Out( ), people have been asking me about Alaya. Everyone is asking why I broke up with her?
I have always said something or the other to end this topic, because I’ve never wanted the world to know about this. But today, I think it’s time I should tell the truth. It wasn’t a break up; it’s just that she dumped me. When? How? Well, read it yourself…

 I still remember that day. It was 18th May and a lot of time was left for the board results to be out. So it was probably enjoyment time…isn’t it? I guess NO…….
 For twenty minutes we were sitting opposite each other without speaking a single word. She was busy with her cell phone and I was just turning the pages of the menu card and counting the number of people present in the restaurant.
‘Sir, your order please,’ the waiter came and asked.
I turned towards Alaya. She was still busy with her cell phone. I turned to the waiter and said ‘Come after five minutes please,’
‘But sir, this is the third time I am coming,’ he said.
‘Oh sorry, wait a minute,’ I said him as I turned to Alaya ‘What will you have?’
‘Anything will do,’ she answered, her eyes still fixed on her cell phone. Her voice was stern.
’Anything will do,’ I turned towards the waiter
He gave me a bewildered look.
‘Okay get one cheese burst onion pizza and two Pao Bhajis,’ I ordered without checking the menu card. Actually we weren’t new in SSB. I came here before probably fifty times with Alaya and the waiter knew us very well.
‘Sure sir,’ he smiled as he noted the order.
‘And divide the pizza into two plates,’ Alaya added. I looked at her surprisingly.
‘But ma’am, you divide it yourself every time,’
‘Do what you are said to,’ she said sternly as the waiter went away with a nod.
‘What’s wrong Alaya?’ I couldn’t bear all this anymore and asked her.
‘What if I ask you the same thing? What’s wrong? Why are you doing this to me?’ she spoke back.
‘Huh?’ I was taken aback.
‘I am sorry to say this Sameer, but after what happened last Tuesday I’ve started doubting you,’

 I am sure you people have no idea which Tuesday she was talking about. Well let me tell you, it was Tanu’s birthday. I was a little drunk and I took Meghna to Tanu’s backyard garden and kissed her. Yes, the same Meghna who had a crush on me. Unfortunately Alaya came to know about it from somewhere, but she didn’t say me anything because I accepted my guilt.
‘Please; I said I am sorry. Moreover you know I don’t have any interest in Meghna,’ I said putting my hand on her.
She pulled back her hand, ‘and what about last Thursday?’

Actually last Thursday’s story was a little different. We were on for a get-together at Domino’s. Alaya went to the washroom when a friend of mine asked me ‘What’s wrong dude? You have spent fifteen months with her…now get a new one,’
‘Yeah I’ll, quite soon,’ I answered as we shared a laugh. But then I turned back to find out that Alaya was standing behind me with wet eyes.
Fuck, still whenever that moment comes in my mind I feel liking slapping me.
‘Alaya I just said that because my friends were making fun of me. Please forgive me,’
‘I am ready to do that but you say me how?’ her voice was getting heavy.
I stayed silent.
‘Okay tell me one thing. Do you love me?’ she asked me.
‘Irrelevant. Obviously I love you,’
She raised her eyebrows. Her eyes made me feel weak.
I lowered my head and pushed myself back to the chair. ‘No,’ I sighed.
‘I knew it,’ she smiled.
‘But honestly Alaya, I’ve never liked anyone the way I like you. You are the closest person to me,’ I tried to manage the situation someway.
‘Sameer, love and like are two completely different things,’ she said as she stood up. I paid the bill and we went out to an empty lane just opposite of SSB.
‘So? Can’t we start from scratch?’ I looked into her eyes.
‘I guess no,’ she turned away ‘I have failed to make you love me in all this fifteen months, I guess I don’t deserve you,’ her voice was getting really heavy and I could feel her choking.
‘No Alaya, I don’t deserve you. You look a lot better than the girls of my league; you loved me like anything but I couldn’t give back the love you deserve. Please give me one more chance,’ emotions getting the better of me slowly and slowly.
‘That’s it Sameer. It’s not possible, please forgive me,’ she rubbed her eyes once ‘I am quite young so I guess I’ll get enough time to forget you, and I need that time,’
‘I am sorry Alaya,’ I closed my eyes.
‘What for Sameer?’
‘I shouldn’t have slept with you,’ I avoided eye contact.
‘Don’t be sorry. I am thankful to you that you slept with me. That one hour was the best one hour of my life,’ she smiled
I didn’t say anything.
‘Will you make me a promise?’ she asked me.
I nodded.
‘You write well, will you write a story about the best one hour of my life?’
‘I promise,’ I said holding her hand.
‘And one more thing, please don’t keep any contact with me. Do you promise?’
I nodded
‘Bye Sameer,’ she said and kissed me. I hugged her tightly.
‘I’ll miss you Alaya,’
‘Stop talking. Let me taste shit for the last time,’ she slapped me hard.
I didn’t answer back fearing another slap.
It was a long two minute kiss.
‘I’ll miss you too,’ she said as I saw tears rolling down her eyes.
I hugged her again.
Then she covered her face and ran away weeping. I wanted to stop her and console her. But something stopped me from inside. I let her go away. I thought this will make her feel ditched, hurt, stabbed but this way she’ll forget me. And I didn’t want to hurt her anymore. Instead I went to my contact list and typed A-L-A-Y-A, went to the delete option and pressed it. ‘Bye Alaya,’ I whispered to myself. Then I started walking the other way. Drops of tears fell from my eyes…