After I wrote the story Making Out( http://suman32blog.blogspot.com/2011/01/making-out.html ), people have been asking me about Alaya. Everyone is asking why I broke up with her?
I have always said something or the other to end this topic, because I’ve never wanted the world to know about this. But today, I think it’s time I should tell the truth. It wasn’t a break up; it’s just that she dumped me. When? How? Well, read it yourself…
I still remember that day. It was 18th May and a lot of time was left for the board results to be out. So it was probably enjoyment time…isn’t it? I guess NO…….
For twenty minutes we were sitting opposite each other without speaking a single word. She was busy with her cell phone and I was just turning the pages of the menu card and counting the number of people present in the restaurant.
‘Sir, your order please,’ the waiter came and asked.
I turned towards Alaya. She was still busy with her cell phone. I turned to the waiter and said ‘Come after five minutes please,’
‘But sir, this is the third time I am coming,’ he said.
‘Oh sorry, wait a minute,’ I said him as I turned to Alaya ‘What will you have?’
‘Anything will do,’ she answered, her eyes still fixed on her cell phone. Her voice was stern.
’Anything will do,’ I turned towards the waiter
He gave me a bewildered look.
‘Okay get one cheese burst onion pizza and two Pao Bhajis,’ I ordered without checking the menu card. Actually we weren’t new in SSB. I came here before probably fifty times with Alaya and the waiter knew us very well.
‘Sure sir,’ he smiled as he noted the order.
‘And divide the pizza into two plates,’ Alaya added. I looked at her surprisingly.
‘But ma’am, you divide it yourself every time,’
‘Do what you are said to,’ she said sternly as the waiter went away with a nod.
‘What’s wrong Alaya?’ I couldn’t bear all this anymore and asked her.
‘What if I ask you the same thing? What’s wrong? Why are you doing this to me?’ she spoke back.
‘Huh?’ I was taken aback.
‘I am sorry to say this Sameer, but after what happened last Tuesday I’ve started doubting you,’
I am sure you people have no idea which Tuesday she was talking about. Well let me tell you, it was Tanu’s birthday. I was a little drunk and I took Meghna to Tanu’s backyard garden and kissed her. Yes, the same Meghna who had a crush on me. Unfortunately Alaya came to know about it from somewhere, but she didn’t say me anything because I accepted my guilt.
‘Please; I said I am sorry. Moreover you know I don’t have any interest in Meghna,’ I said putting my hand on her.
She pulled back her hand, ‘and what about last Thursday?’
Actually last Thursday’s story was a little different. We were on for a get-together at Domino’s. Alaya went to the washroom when a friend of mine asked me ‘What’s wrong dude? You have spent fifteen months with her…now get a new one,’
‘Yeah I’ll, quite soon,’ I answered as we shared a laugh. But then I turned back to find out that Alaya was standing behind me with wet eyes.
Fuck, still whenever that moment comes in my mind I feel liking slapping me.
‘Alaya I just said that because my friends were making fun of me. Please forgive me,’
‘I am ready to do that but you say me how?’ her voice was getting heavy.
I stayed silent.
‘Okay tell me one thing. Do you love me?’ she asked me.
‘Irrelevant. Obviously I love you,’
She raised her eyebrows. Her eyes made me feel weak.
I lowered my head and pushed myself back to the chair. ‘No,’ I sighed.
‘I knew it,’ she smiled.
‘But honestly Alaya, I’ve never liked anyone the way I like you. You are the closest person to me,’ I tried to manage the situation someway.
‘Sameer, love and like are two completely different things,’ she said as she stood up. I paid the bill and we went out to an empty lane just opposite of SSB.
‘So? Can’t we start from scratch?’ I looked into her eyes.
‘I guess no,’ she turned away ‘I have failed to make you love me in all this fifteen months, I guess I don’t deserve you,’ her voice was getting really heavy and I could feel her choking.
‘No Alaya, I don’t deserve you. You look a lot better than the girls of my league; you loved me like anything but I couldn’t give back the love you deserve. Please give me one more chance,’ emotions getting the better of me slowly and slowly.
‘That’s it Sameer. It’s not possible, please forgive me,’ she rubbed her eyes once ‘I am quite young so I guess I’ll get enough time to forget you, and I need that time,’
‘I am sorry Alaya,’ I closed my eyes.
‘What for Sameer?’
‘I shouldn’t have slept with you,’ I avoided eye contact.
‘Don’t be sorry. I am thankful to you that you slept with me. That one hour was the best one hour of my life,’ she smiled
I didn’t say anything.
‘Will you make me a promise?’ she asked me.
‘You write well, will you write a story about the best one hour of my life?’
‘I promise,’ I said holding her hand.
‘And one more thing, please don’t keep any contact with me. Do you promise?’
‘Bye Sameer,’ she said and kissed me. I hugged her tightly.
‘I’ll miss you Alaya,’
‘Stop talking. Let me taste shit for the last time,’ she slapped me hard.
I didn’t answer back fearing another slap.
It was a long two minute kiss.
‘I’ll miss you too,’ she said as I saw tears rolling down her eyes.
I hugged her again.
Then she covered her face and ran away weeping. I wanted to stop her and console her. But something stopped me from inside. I let her go away. I thought this will make her feel ditched, hurt, stabbed but this way she’ll forget me. And I didn’t want to hurt her anymore. Instead I went to my contact list and typed A-L-A-Y-A, went to the delete option and pressed it. ‘Bye Alaya,’ I whispered to myself. Then I started walking the other way. Drops of tears fell from my eyes…