The Bet!!!

Before I start the story..let me clear it out that it is entirely fictional and there is no resemblance with real life.Yes this is my story..but not because its related to my life, but only because I wrote it. Now here I start..

The environment was totally thrilled. Loud music playing all over the ground, girls dancing all around us and performers rocking the center stage, it was total party time.It's the Great TTIS Carnival 2009.
'Okay,  now its time for the fashion parade,' the host announced as the bunch of people on the ground hooted.
Lights went off and with the DJ playing the best music collection, one by one hot girls came down the floor to showcase their fashion sense.
The guys were least bothered about their dresses, what all mattered was their assets.
'Man she is hot, i give her 10 out of 10,' Ashish whispered in my ears, pointing to a fair girl who took the stage.
'Agreed, it would be nice to put  her on bed,' I said as we did a hi-five.
'You think you can?' he asked in a sarcastic tone.
'You bet?' it was a matter of ego for me.
'I put 1000bucks, if you can take her to bed in the next one year, i give you 1000 bucks,'
'And if i cant?' i asked.
'Then it will be just the opposite,'he said as he laughed.
I nodded my head and went forward to the girls who were jumping in the front row.
'Hey girl, can you tell me the name of the pretty woman who just left the stage??,' i asked one of them.
'That's Zoya Parveen of G.D Birla, my friend, why?' the girl replied.
'Okay, she is gonna win,' i winked and left.

Next day the moment i left the bed, the first thing i did was checking out Facebook. Zoya Parveen, that's the name i had to search, and fortunately i found her. Then i went to the 'Send Request' button and clicked.
Two days passed and then i saw that my request has been accepted. luckily i found her online too.
i started off a chat..
Me: Hi...
Zoya: Helloww...
Me: In the TTIS carnival fashion parade u were looking damn hawt...
Zoya: Oh really?? You saw me?? Thanks..by the way from ur dps i can guess u look hawt too...
Me: Haha..but not as hawt as u...
Zoya: Thats flattering..m impressed..
Me: May be i just wanted to impress u only...
Zoya: Aww..so sweet..muuahh..Newaz i hav 2 go..catch ya latr...
Me: Ohk..cya soon...bubyee! <3 <3 <3
Zoya: Haha..! <3 <3 <3
Me: :))
Zoya: :))
That was our 1st chat..then we exchanged numbers, met, hanged out, went for lunch and three months later she seemed to be my world.
'Dude, i think i am in love,' i said Ashish as we met
'What? Really? who's the lucky girl?' Ashish asked patting on my back.
'Remember Zoya Parveen??'

Don't say me you have fallen for her, you were on a mission right?' Ashish said .

'Bunk it, i am no more in this bet, i love her. and i know she loves me too,' i said as i stood up and went away.

Two days passed. i was going to meet Zoya after a month and it was the day of Eid. She dressed herself in a silk translucent sari, with not much make up. God, i couldn't move my eyes away from her.

'Hi, you are looking gorgeous,' i said her.

'Thank you, even you are looking hot,' she said and giggled.

'Zoya, i think i am in love,' i said her avoiding eye contact.

'Really? tell me the name please,' she sounded excited.

'Her name is Zoya Parveen, and she is standing right in front of me,' i said closing my eyes.

'Is it so? you really love me,' she said softly.

'I do, i really do. I love you more than anything in this world,' i opened my eyes slowly and looked at her.

Tears were rolling down her eyes. her eyes were closed. i sighed and turned back. She hold my hand and and pulled me towards her. Then she softly said me 'Yo have no idea how long i waited to hear this from you,'

I opened my eyes. Happiness was bursting in my heart. 

'I love you too, ' she said me and we kissed.

Two more months passed. We were happily in love with each other. With each and every passing day i fell in love with her more and more. 

Then came March. It was her birthday. My parents were out of station and she came to my house on her birthday. I ordered a big cake for her. We cut the cake together and then started throwing them at each other. The fun brought out the passion inside us and we ended up kissing. The kiss changed into shedding off clothes which ultimately ended in both of us making love.

After twenty minutes of immense loss of energy we lied naked in the bed.

'Sam, you will never cheat on me na?' she asked. I could feel a vibration in her voice.

'I wont Zoya,' i said as i pulled her towards me tightly.

'Remember one thing Sam, the day you cheat on me will be the last day of my life,' she said as tears rolled down her eyes.

I kissed her forehead and said 'Love you baby,'.

Next day Zoya decided to give a birthday party. Only I and Ashish were among the invitees.

'So how is things going between you people?' Ashish asked her.

'Umm...he is the best guy i could have got,'

'Cool...have you people kissed?  he asked in a funny way.

'Last night we did everything,' Zoya said and kissed on my cheeks.

'Wow, really Sameer?' Ashish looked at me.

I nodded.

He took out a 1000 rupee note from his wallet and put it on the table, 'Here you go man, you win the bet,'

'Bet?what bet?' Zoya was puzzled.

'Nothing, ignore it,' i said as i signaled Ashish to drop the topic.

But that bastard had other plans. He stood up and turned to Zoya, 'Well five months ago when we first saw you, we put a bet. Sameer had to take you to bed to win this 1000 rupees. And guess what? He won,' he said and broke into laughter.

Zoya's happiness was gone. A dark shade fell on her face. She looked at me with wet eyes. then she got up and walked out of the restaurant.

I ran behind her and hold her hand, 'Zoya listen to me,'

'Just go Sameer. I trusted you. I loved you more than myself. And you played with me. You never loved me. All you wanted is to sleep with me. Get lost. I hate you,' she kicked me hard and ran away.

I went home and tried to contact her a lot, but she didn't pick up the phone. She didn't even reply to my messages.

I cried and cried. Yes I started talking with her because of the bet but then as I interacteed more with her i actually fell in love with her. I loved her more than anything in this world.

I was crying like hell. I don't know when i slept that night.

Next morning when i woke up i checked my cell. it showed one new message from Zoya. I opened it.

You cheated me..time to keep my promise...bye Sam..

My hands trembled as I moved my eyes through the message I read it again and again. I pinched myself and begged that i am dreaming. But i wasn't. It was reality. I called Zoya. An old lady picked up the phone.

'Aunty, Zoya's home?' I asked.

The lady started crying 'She hung herself. My child left me,' 

Tthe phone fell down from my hand. I lost my senses. I ran out of my house and went to Zoya's house. It was crowded by her neighbors. The police was yet to come. Her body was lying on the balcony covered by a white cloth. I was shocked to see that. Tears in my eyes dried up. I ran up towards her room. There under the pillow i found a letter.

Sam, i have always loved you and i cant think about anyone else in my life. I expected you to love me too. But the one whom i loved more than my own self betrayed me. I was hurt Sam. I lost my motive to live. You were the reason I lived for. But You only betrayed me.. I love you Sam and i'll always do. Remember Sam i said you that the day you betray me will be the last day of my life?

You betrayed me Sam...and its time for me to keep my promise. Good bye Sam, hope to meet you in heaven.

Love You,

Zoya  <3 <3

I read that again and again. She left me. I went out of her house and returned home. I still cant believe she left me. Even years later i believe Zoya is with me, every time, everywhere through her last letter. I am not so courageous that i can kill myself so i am just waiting for the day when i'll go to heaven and meet Zoya.. that's the motive of my life now!

          

My first poem! :)

This is my first poem. I have tried to write poems many times before, but all in vain. This time, I knew I could write it because it’s about her. I don’t know the poem has been good or not, but as because it’s about her, I thought of sharing it.

Your eyes made me feel for you,

They are full of blossom,

I don’t know why I love you,

You are just so awesome.

Your soft voice and lovely smile,

Are enough to make my heart go heavy,

Whenever you turn away,

I feel like saying, ‘Don’t go baby,’

Even a few months ago,

Things didn’t go this far,

But now, I wish you loved me too,

Every time I see a falling star.

Yes, you are the woman, who changed me,

Taught me how to live,

Before I met you, I was a spoiled boy,

But now that’s hard to believe.

I have got everything I wanted,

You are the only exception,

But I already take you as my beloved,

Though, it’s from my perception.

I know I am dreaming a lot,

Because chances are less,

But I won’t give up till I die,

I want to win this race.

Trust me, no one can love you like me,

Because I love you the most,

And I’ll keep on loving you,

Even after, I become a ghost.

I don’t know why it happens,

But even when I stare at the wall,

Only one face fills up my eyes,

It’s you Puja Agarwal.

Dedicated to the girl whom I have truly loved. Hope she’ll understand one day.
                                                                                           -Suman Naskar

Saunak to the Rescue!! :P

‘Two days, two days we have been fighting over the venue. Cant you fix a good venue??’ I shouted at Soham over the phone.
‘Am saying na, lets go to Hiland park,’ he said.
‘Aditya won’t go, he doesn’t like that place,’
‘But i wanna go there. Please please,’ Soham pleaded over the phone.
‘I don’t know, ask Megha,’ I said him. Now Megha is my sister and one of the few girls in our group. Soham sighed and I disconnected the phone. Ten minutes later I got a text from Ayush that we are going to South City. What the fuck! Not again. I called Meghna and said I am not going
‘But why?’ Megha said.
‘I’ve been there many times, I don’t wanna go again.’
‘Me too but we can’t help. It’s Soham, Ayush and Sid’s idea. I feel like crying,’ she said on phone.
I disconnected the phone again. Then I thought of an idea. I texted everyone and said to come online on facebook. Ayush, Aditya, Sid, Soham, Megha came online and we were having a group chat. And then I threw the plan of Aqua Java. Aqua Java café Istanbul is a premium hookah parlor.
‘Okay guys, meet tomorrow then we’ll decide. Aqua java will be a good option,’ I said all of them.
‘I won’t smoke hookah,’ Megha made it clear.
‘You’ll have coffee then,’
‘Okay,’ she said quite satisfied.
‘How much money will we have to bring?’ Soham asked.
‘Rs 100 per head will do,’ I said quite confidently.
Next day we all met in front of the bus stand. We were waiting for Soham and Sid as we saw an auto stopping in front of us. Saunak came out from the auto. Now Saunak is a friend of mine. We stay in the same locality. But Aditya doesn’t like Saunak much due to his over smartness, as explained by Aditya himself.
‘What’s he doing here?’ I whispered to Megha.
‘Is he going with us?’ Megha turned to Ayush.
All of us shrugged.
‘Hey buddies,’ Saunak waved at us.
‘Hey bro, you coming with us?’ I asked him.
‘Ya, you don’t know?’
Everyone looked at each other blankly and then Megha said ‘none of us knew,’
Then we all got up in the bus and went to Tollygunge metro station. From there we went to Rabindra Sadan where Aditya was waiting for us. We met there and greeted each other.
‘Hello Aditya,’ Saunak said him and smiled.
Aditya gave me a look of disgust. I shrugged and walked ahead.
From there we had a fifteen minutes walk to Rowdon Street clicking pictures and gazing at HHI planning to come Underground the next time.
Then we reached our destination.  The signboard showed Aqua Java Café Istanbul flashed in front. We went in and took our place. We took two hookahs, Kolkata Pan and Orange combo and Mint and Grape combo along with Mushroom sandwich and Ice Brista. Two hours of fun and then the disaster happened. Something which none of us will forget in life. Sid got up and the pipe stuck his leg resulting in one jar falling down splitting the water all over the sofa and the coal falling on mine and Soham’s lap.
It was still fine, but then God wanted something worst to happen, and it happened. The waiter came and said we will have to pay Rs 1000 as a fine because the jar has been broken. Wow, this is what I call embarrassment.
Megha said them ‘We don’t have money,’
‘Sorry sir, at least u’ll have pay 500, ‘the waiter said.
‘Okay give the bill,’ I said.
They gave as a slip and I checked it. My eyes were wide open.
‘How much?’ Soham asked.
‘One one five one,’ I stammered.
‘What?’ everyone shouted in unison.
I gave the bill to Ayush and said ‘Check it yourself,’
‘What the hell?’ Megha shouted, ‘I told you people to see that it doesn’t fall down. I warned you people,’
‘Don’t blame me, I was talking with Aditya,’ I shouted back.
‘Don’t create a scene guys, stop. Think about the money,’ Sid whispered.
‘How much do we have?’ I said giving my 100rs note.
Ayush, Soham and Megha took out 100 bucks each, Sid gave 150 bucks and Saunak gave 50bucks.
Saunak took the money and gave it to the waiter.
‘What about the rest?’ the waiter asked.
‘We don’t have more money,’ I said.
‘Then one of you go and bring it from somewhere,’ the waiter said and went.
All of us looked at each other searching for ideas. Complete silence among us.
‘Fuck it won’t work, ‘Aditya said, ‘do 1 thing, we don’t have money. Let’s surrender or tell them to take our watches,’
‘Can I give my watch?? Its costs 2.5k,’ I said the waiter.
‘It won’t work. U’ll have to pay in cash,’
‘Then can we pay tomorrow?’ Soham said softly.
‘Sorry sir, pay the rest of the amount now and please do it fast,’
I turned back. Saunak was not there.
‘Where is Saunak?’ I said Sid.
‘Wait I’ll see, u people manage the situation here,’
Me, Soham and Ayush tried the best but couldn’t persuade the waiter.
Fifteen minutes later Saunak and Sid returned with 600bucks.
‘Where from you got the money?’ I asked.
‘I had kept it for emergency,’ Saunak said counting the notes.
‘Then why the fuck you didn’t give it before?’ Megha said.
‘Fuck? If I didn’t have this money just think what would have happened?’ Saunak said Megha.
All kept quiet.
We counted the money and paid it to the waiter.
‘Here you go,’ I said as I and Saunak went to pay the bill.
The waiter accepted with a grin.
Then we went out and thanked Saunak. God knows what would have happened if he was not there. And as usual when we reached home everyone’s facebook status thanked Saunak, even from people who couldn’t tolerate him were bound to thank him.

Forgive Me!!!

Just two nights and then the mighty EVE exam, and I was still stuck with introduction.
‘Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,’ I said to myself.
 Then my cell phone beeped and I closed my book. At least I have a reason to close my book now, I thought.
It was a message from Shilpa Rajgaria, a friend of mine.
   Let me introduce you all to her. Eight months ago I wasn’t so accustomed to Facebook. I logged into my Orkut account and kept on adding unknown girls. One such girl was Shilpa. Now, in these eight months we became really close friends. We hanged around together at least thrice a week. Be it walking on the pavements or smoking hookah in Aqua Java, partying without her was insensible to me. In these eight months I also met and bonded well with Shilpa’s boyfriend Karan.
Karan and I used to booze late night (till 31st Jan after which I decided not to booze). Shilpa and Karan became among my best of friends in all these eight months.

Back to present now, I checked the message from Shilpa.
Hey…Wassup??
I replied…
Me: Studying…I mean trying to study… actually I am thinking about her…
Shilpa: Y don’t you frgt her?? She is not the gal for you, she doesn’t deserve you…
Move on…think abt the othr gals…u’ll get lot better gals than her…
Me: For example??

Then the reply she gave left me shocked…
Think about me…I am also good looking, sexy and i understand u well…we can be a gr8 couple…

For a moment I thought she was joking…so I decided to continue with this…
What abt Karan? Will you be able to live without him?
Shilpa: Obviously…I don’t love him…I hav always loved u…I can frgt him but not u…
Me: Hold on a minute…r u serious??
Shilpa: Yes…you have any doubt abt it?
Me: Sorry Shilpa but this can’t happen… I love Nidhi and I can’t think about anyone else…bye…guess i hav to study now…hav exams.
I threw the phone on the bed, still shocked and stuck. Tears started rolling down form my eyes. I opened my EVE book again.
‘I love Nidhi and only Nidhi, no one else,’ I kept on saying in my mind.
Then my phone beeped again. This time it was a call. It was from Shilpa.
‘Hello,’ I said softly.
‘Sam, I really love you,’ Shilpa said. She was crying.
‘Shilpa please, try to understand,’
‘Why can’t you love me? Tell me, you only said once I am one of the most gorgeous gals you have met, then why can’t you love me?’ she shouted on the phone.
‘Shilpa, love isn’t about just looking good. Yes, you are still one of the most gorgeous gals I’ve met, but that doesn’t men I love you. I already love someone else,’
‘Please Sam,’ she kept on crying.
‘This won’t work Shilpa. If I would have been single, the story would have been different. But now, I already love her, I can’t give her place to any other gal in this world,’ I tried to make her understand.
‘But she will never love you, I will,’
‘Never say never, she’ll love me, she will,’ I said as my voice became heavy.
She disconnected the phone. I didn’t call back. Next morning I got a call form Karan.
‘Hey bro, can you meet me in Newalipur?’
‘Ya sure, in half an hour,’ I said as I went to meet him.
He was waiting in the triangular park. As soon as he saw me he ran towards me and punched on my chest.
I fell on the ground.
‘What’s this?’ I said groaning with pain.
‘This is for wooing my girlfriend,’ he said and kicked me.
This time I had to hit back. I caught his leg, pulled him down and punched on his face. Blood came out from his nose. Within minutes, we were engaged in fighting, not one of those shown on bollywood films, but the way dogs fight, kicking and punching each other.
Ten minutes later, we were exhausted and the people on stroll there pulled us apart.
‘Fuck you asshole,’ he shouted.
‘Mind your language Karan,’ I shouted back.
‘I won’t! Do whatever you want, you are a bastard, and your Nidhi is a bitch,’ he shouted.
The mention of Nidhi’s name as a bitch aroused my temper. I went forward and kicked on his abdomen.
‘How dare you call her a bitch? Next time if I see your face, I swear on her, I’ll smack it,’ I said holding his collar.
‘Even I don’t wish to see your face again,’ he said and spit on the ground. I went away from there, and then deleted his name from my contacts. i'll never contact him again, I swore.
While returning home I got a call from Shilpa, She said ‘Sam, I broke up with Karan,’
‘Good. What can I do about it?’ I said sternly. I was still fuming inside. How dare that son of a pig call Nidhi a bitch? If murder wouldn’t have been a crime; I would have murdered that bloody fucking Karan.
‘Sam, one last time I am asking. Can you never love me?’ she asked softly.
‘Its not only you, I can never love anyone else. I just love her too much,’
‘Okay Sam, hope you’ll keep her happy. She is lucky, congratulate her on my behalf. She has got a great lover. Don’t worry; she’ll understand your love. Gals generally take time but when they start loving, they just love with whole heart. She’ll be yours. May God bless you two. Bye Sam, bye forever,’ She said and disconnected the phone.
After reaching home, when I called her back, it was not reachable. Till today, it’s not reachable. She doesn’t have a Facebook account, and doesn’t come online in Orkut since October. I guess, I lost complete contact with her.
I am sorry for hurting you Shilpa, till now you are one of the most gorgeous gals I’ve met, but I love Nidhi, and will always love her, even after I die. If possible, forgive me.

My Last Date With Alaya!!!!

 After I wrote the story Making Out( http://suman32blog.blogspot.com/2011/01/making-out.html ), people have been asking me about Alaya. Everyone is asking why I broke up with her?
I have always said something or the other to end this topic, because I’ve never wanted the world to know about this. But today, I think it’s time I should tell the truth. It wasn’t a break up; it’s just that she dumped me. When? How? Well, read it yourself…

 I still remember that day. It was 18th May and a lot of time was left for the board results to be out. So it was probably enjoyment time…isn’t it? I guess NO…….
 For twenty minutes we were sitting opposite each other without speaking a single word. She was busy with her cell phone and I was just turning the pages of the menu card and counting the number of people present in the restaurant.
‘Sir, your order please,’ the waiter came and asked.
I turned towards Alaya. She was still busy with her cell phone. I turned to the waiter and said ‘Come after five minutes please,’
‘But sir, this is the third time I am coming,’ he said.
‘Oh sorry, wait a minute,’ I said him as I turned to Alaya ‘What will you have?’
‘Anything will do,’ she answered, her eyes still fixed on her cell phone. Her voice was stern.
’Anything will do,’ I turned towards the waiter
He gave me a bewildered look.
‘Okay get one cheese burst onion pizza and two Pao Bhajis,’ I ordered without checking the menu card. Actually we weren’t new in SSB. I came here before probably fifty times with Alaya and the waiter knew us very well.
‘Sure sir,’ he smiled as he noted the order.
‘And divide the pizza into two plates,’ Alaya added. I looked at her surprisingly.
‘But ma’am, you divide it yourself every time,’
‘Do what you are said to,’ she said sternly as the waiter went away with a nod.
‘What’s wrong Alaya?’ I couldn’t bear all this anymore and asked her.
‘What if I ask you the same thing? What’s wrong? Why are you doing this to me?’ she spoke back.
‘Huh?’ I was taken aback.
‘I am sorry to say this Sameer, but after what happened last Tuesday I’ve started doubting you,’

 I am sure you people have no idea which Tuesday she was talking about. Well let me tell you, it was Tanu’s birthday. I was a little drunk and I took Meghna to Tanu’s backyard garden and kissed her. Yes, the same Meghna who had a crush on me. Unfortunately Alaya came to know about it from somewhere, but she didn’t say me anything because I accepted my guilt.
‘Please; I said I am sorry. Moreover you know I don’t have any interest in Meghna,’ I said putting my hand on her.
She pulled back her hand, ‘and what about last Thursday?’

Actually last Thursday’s story was a little different. We were on for a get-together at Domino’s. Alaya went to the washroom when a friend of mine asked me ‘What’s wrong dude? You have spent fifteen months with her…now get a new one,’
‘Yeah I’ll, quite soon,’ I answered as we shared a laugh. But then I turned back to find out that Alaya was standing behind me with wet eyes.
Fuck, still whenever that moment comes in my mind I feel liking slapping me.
‘Alaya I just said that because my friends were making fun of me. Please forgive me,’
‘I am ready to do that but you say me how?’ her voice was getting heavy.
I stayed silent.
‘Okay tell me one thing. Do you love me?’ she asked me.
‘Irrelevant. Obviously I love you,’
She raised her eyebrows. Her eyes made me feel weak.
I lowered my head and pushed myself back to the chair. ‘No,’ I sighed.
‘I knew it,’ she smiled.
‘But honestly Alaya, I’ve never liked anyone the way I like you. You are the closest person to me,’ I tried to manage the situation someway.
‘Sameer, love and like are two completely different things,’ she said as she stood up. I paid the bill and we went out to an empty lane just opposite of SSB.
‘So? Can’t we start from scratch?’ I looked into her eyes.
‘I guess no,’ she turned away ‘I have failed to make you love me in all this fifteen months, I guess I don’t deserve you,’ her voice was getting really heavy and I could feel her choking.
‘No Alaya, I don’t deserve you. You look a lot better than the girls of my league; you loved me like anything but I couldn’t give back the love you deserve. Please give me one more chance,’ emotions getting the better of me slowly and slowly.
‘That’s it Sameer. It’s not possible, please forgive me,’ she rubbed her eyes once ‘I am quite young so I guess I’ll get enough time to forget you, and I need that time,’
‘I am sorry Alaya,’ I closed my eyes.
‘What for Sameer?’
‘I shouldn’t have slept with you,’ I avoided eye contact.
‘Don’t be sorry. I am thankful to you that you slept with me. That one hour was the best one hour of my life,’ she smiled
I didn’t say anything.
‘Will you make me a promise?’ she asked me.
I nodded.
‘You write well, will you write a story about the best one hour of my life?’
‘I promise,’ I said holding her hand.
‘And one more thing, please don’t keep any contact with me. Do you promise?’
I nodded
‘Bye Sameer,’ she said and kissed me. I hugged her tightly.
‘I’ll miss you Alaya,’
‘Stop talking. Let me taste shit for the last time,’ she slapped me hard.
I didn’t answer back fearing another slap.
It was a long two minute kiss.
‘I’ll miss you too,’ she said as I saw tears rolling down her eyes.
I hugged her again.
Then she covered her face and ran away weeping. I wanted to stop her and console her. But something stopped me from inside. I let her go away. I thought this will make her feel ditched, hurt, stabbed but this way she’ll forget me. And I didn’t want to hurt her anymore. Instead I went to my contact list and typed A-L-A-Y-A, went to the delete option and pressed it. ‘Bye Alaya,’ I whispered to myself. Then I started walking the other way. Drops of tears fell from my eyes…

Just Chatting!!

As you guys know, I am totally addicted to facebook. All day I keep on making new friends, and as usual a few days back, I added one more friend, Kesha Chakraborty. At first she was just an idle name in the fiend list, then I stated liking her status, she stated commenting on mine, and we became fiends…. And trust me; in facebook even a mere conversation is enough for me to befriend someone.

So one fine day were as usual talking, better say quarreling about rubbish things when she said me to check her status.
I did what she said.

It showed
Having a gr8 relief 1ce agn… da Bitch s bck… x)
I commented on it – You are the biggest bitch.

She didn’t comment back. Instead she sent something in my chat box. I checked it.
Kesha-You won’t understand, I can’t tolerate. Finally he said he wants to be my ‘Just Friend’
          Ha Ha…after so much drama, just friend? Disgusting
Me- Give it a damn. Btw is it Debapriyo?
Kesha- No no…I accepted Debapriyo because he persuaded a lot…
Me- That’s not good, loving someone else and committed with someone else??
Kesha- If a boy can do this to me then why can’t I Sameer?
            I hate male sex…
Me- If I follow your logic, then after what happened to me I should hate female sex, but I don’t because I believe exceptions are always there!!!
Kesha- You should hate female sex unless you find that real girl who comes and breaks it…
Me- I have found my real girl, though she is yet to find me…
Kesha- You’ll be hurt again this way…
Me- Doesn’t matter to me, I am used to it. Six months ago I was so happy, money, girls, party, masti…total life. But since then things have changed drastically…
Kesha- Now you tell me, which life was better?
            Wasting time behind her or having fun with money and girls?
           Who’s the loser?
Me- But whenever I go around with other girls, I feel guilty…I love her so much…
Kesha- You love her?
Me- Madly…
Kesha- Does she love you?
Me- I don’t know…She say’s she wants to stay single…I guess she doesn’t…
Kesha- She doesn’t, trust me…we give this answer to avoid men…
Me- I know she doesn’t
       But my question is ‘WHY?’
       What’s the bloody fucking problem with me?
Kesha- She may love someone else the same way you love her…
            Why do you men have the habit of thinking things about yourself only?
           She has her own reasons to leave you…
Me- She doesn’t love anyone, she said me…
       Just because I am a Bengali and she is a Marwadi…she can’t get committed…
Kesha- Awesome reason, she doesn’t live in dreams like you; she knows she can’t marry you… so why will she keep the relationship? Just to have sex? People will laugh at you, forget her. Move ahead, the other girls are waiting…
Me- I never said I won’t marry her…
Kesha- Trust me, but no none will accept it, neither your parents, nor her parents, anyway you can’t force her!
Me-Tell me one thing…can you ever forget him? Be honest…
Kesha- I have to, because he doesn’t love me…see, I definitely can’t forget him but I can’t stop living life for him…
Me- You’ll waste your life…
Kesha- He has wasted my life, now I’ll do the same with every guy…
            And I believe one day he’ll come back…
Me- That’s what keeps me going…
Kesha- Let us go to Haridwar and meditate may be they will return…listening our prayers! :-)
Me- I’ve a better option. Let’s get famous, and once we get famous they’ll be back…
Kesha- Hey, that’s a good idea, but how?
Me- That’s why I am writing blog!
Kesha- Good next time, take me with you too!!

It ended there. It ended on a sweet and humorous note, but contained some serious things to think about.
How can some one hate the opposite sex so much?
How can I love her so much?
Was Kesha right?
Am I really being a loser?
Is she taking the right decision by getting committed to someone she doesn’t love?
 Yes, I need to find the answers to these questions, but I don’t know how! Probably Kesha was right, I mean at least she is a lot matured than I thought, but then it’s just impossible for me to go around with some other girl. I am in a mess and only one girl can pull me out, please Nidhi please!!

That's It

I was turning the pages of my eco book. I was supposed to study about mobility of factors, after all just two weeks left for the boards. Somehow it was not working because my mind was stuck somewhere else. Yes, I was thinking about her, yet again.
‘Urghh, concentrate Suman!’ I scolded myself.
It didn’t work. I checked my cell phone. Then I decided to send her a message.
You can’t imagine Suman without?
Reply...i am waiting!!
Two minutes and came a reply…I can’t imagine you without your friends and so called attitude!
And after that I started a conversation….
Me: Me and attitude? Ha Ha Ha…Joke of the day:-D
She: No, you have a lot of attitude and ego, which has always let you down…
Me: Ya I know, I have attitude but I am working to put it down…
She: Thank God, you accepted it…
Me: Will accept anything you say, I don’t like rejecting others like you…
She: Oh…is it? :-0 hmm…I see!
Me: Btw do I have even 1% chance? I mean…is it like I am BOOM or I can try again?
She: Hey, please you are embarrassing me…btw I saw your photo with Vishaka…I really liked it…you were looking good…
Me: Thank you but answer me first…yes or no? This is the last time I am asking…
She: I want to stay single for now, can’t we stay friends?
Me: That’s it! From now on, you go your way, I’ll go mine…I know this way I’ll destroy my life, but if I stay with you, I’ll destroy your life as well! And I don’t want that…Bye
She: You know what? You are a good human being…and a nice guy, please keep contact…!
Me: Useless, I am deleting you from my contact list…but anytime in life you feel you love me too, just let me know…I’ll be there for you, doesn’t matter whether you are 20 or 70…I’ll wait!
She: Okay, if that gives you happiness, then do it…delete me from your contacts…I’ll miss you! :-(
  
     My hands reached my cell. But it was trembling. I felt a choke in my throat. Within moments, even before I could realize, puddles of tears surfaced from my eyes. I couldn’t see anything. Damn, I cried after five years, for a girl. I couldn’t believe it. I never knew I loved her so much. I rubbed my tears and replied to her…

Bye…I love you, and I’ll always do! Take care, I am already in tears, please don’t reply

Five minutes passed…no reply came! I decided to send her one more message…
This is my last good night wish, happy birthday in advance, take care…and one request to you, please think about it once more after the exams…good night, bye!
Her birthday is 25th march…I’ll never forget it.

Within minutes her reply came…

Happy birthday to you too in advance (23rd April)…I’ll always remember you…please mujhe ek bura sapna samajh ke bhuljana…

And then for the first time I said a wise line…something which even I never knew I could say…I replied her…

Pyaar koi bura sapna nahi hota…I don’t want to start again…please…bye
She: Bye, good night…I am sorry.
Me: Don’t be…and please remember my request!
She: Sure…
I didn’t reply back…I don’t know why I did this…it was never in my plan...I wanted to make the friendship stronger with her, and try again after a few days. But, I did something different; I broke the friendship with her.

She was right, true love doesn’t have a strategy or a game plan, I realized it. I don’t know whether I did right or wrong….but I did it, though i'll never give up!!

Making Out!!

Thanks Akash for explaining the first part so well. In case you guys don’t know what is the 1st part all about go to this link-
http://akashblog-akash.blogspot.com/2011/01/oh-common-adi-be-man-dont-feel-shy.html

 See guys, before I start anything, let me tell you that Alaya is my past. I don’t even have any contact with her now. I don’t know how you people will take this blog, more importantly, how Nidhi will take this blog, but it is something I want to share about my past.

    Three days, three days we didn’t talk. I tried to talk to her but she simply avoided me. We were coming out of tuition class as I called Tanu. 
‘What’s up Sameer?’ Tanu asked me.
‘Can you make it work between me and Alaya?’ I asked.
‘Arre chill, she still loves you. She just a little pissed off, go and talk to her yourself,’ she said as she patted on my back.
I nodded.
As Alaya came out, I took a chance. ‘Hey Alaya,’ I waved my hand towards her.
She turned away after a glance and started walking towards the dark lane. I turned to Tanu.
‘Follow her stupid!’ she shouted.
I nodded and ran after Alaya. As I came closer to her I slowed down my pace.
‘Hey sexy,’ I smiled as she looked at me blankly.
‘I thought that comment suits Meghna more,’ she said as she started walking again.
‘Please! Meghna is sexy? Give me a break. You are a lot better than her,’
I noticed a smile on her face as she said, ‘Ya Ya, I know I am sexy, in fact the sexiest. You are lucky to get me,’
Pheeeww, at last ‘I got her’. It’s so tough to be a good boyfriend. And that evening luck was on my side. It was the time of monsoon and as we were walking big drops of rain started falling on us.
‘Shit, its raining. How am I to go home now?’ she cried.
‘Awww, five minutes and my house comes. What about spending some time there till rain stops?’ I asked back smiling.
‘Don’t try to get naughty. I am still angry on you,’ she said, better say warned.
‘Please, at least ten minutes’ I folded my hands.
One minute silence after which she spoke up.
‘Okay,’ she said as we went to my house, our clothes all wet. Mom and Dad were in Burdwan and so I was alone in house. I changed from my wet clothes and gave her one of my shirt.
‘Am I going to wear this? No way,’ he said stretching the shirt.
‘You don’t have a choice, though I would like you without clothes,’ I joked.
‘Really?’ she raised her eyebrows.
I just smiled as I went to take something from the fridge to eat. As I returned she pulled me loser.
‘Wanna have fun?’ she asked me.
‘Well, who doesn’t?’ I said as my breath started to increase.
She kissed on my chest and slowly and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. My breath stopped, my hands trembled as I pulled her closer by her waist. Her eyes closed. Her wet hair fell on my face. I bent forward. Our wet lips touched. And then, she planted a long kiss.
‘You taste like shit, ‘she said after the kiss.
‘Then you should try kissing someone else,’ I said as I pushed her back, a little pissed off.
‘I like tasting shit,’ she said softly as she went vulgar. She bit my lips harder and pushed me on the bed. Then she did something I never expected. She unbuttoned her own shirt. Amazingly I stared at her.
‘What are you looking at? This are all yours baby. Get them,’ she winked.
‘Huh? I think we are moving really fast. Just cool down and…...’ she kissed me again, stopping me from completing the sentence. This time I couldn’t control myself. I grasped her from behind and threw her into the bed. Then I pressed on her breasts. I could feel her inside me. I pressed them so hard that she shouted.
‘Ouch! It hurts Sameer. Easy man, I am not running away,’ she smiled as her hands reached unmentionable parts of mine.
‘I wont let you run away,’ I smiled as I pushed my body against hers.
‘Your cute puny little thing down there has got straight it seems, why don’t you let it do some work?’ she was getting damn naughty.
‘Once you allow,’ I answered as I shed my pants. Our two naked bodies were in contact with each other. With every passing second, I was falling in love with her more intensely.
She smiled and spread her legs. Then she allowed me to push my ‘little thing’ inside her. I just followed her instructions. I pressed in, she grasped me tight. Her eyes closed down. I kissed on her throat. Her grasp became tighter.
I pressed in Harder.
She grasped me more tightly. Her breath slowed down. We kissed again. Then there was no stopping.
‘I L-L-L-o-v-e-e-e you,’ she said as I pressed as hard as I can, increasing my pace to the highest extent.
After fifteen minutes of hard work we were completely out of energy. I kissed her forehead and whispered into her ears ‘I love you Alaya,’
‘Don’t ever leave me Sameer, love you too my baby,’ she said as her voice became heavy. Her eyes became wet.
‘Want a second round?’ I wanted to lighten up her mood.
‘You are nuts. No energy left in me,’ she said as she pushed me.
I stayed silent.
‘I don’t believe Sameer, we are no longer virgin,’ she stared at me and put her finger on my lips.
‘I guess I am a man now, ‘I smiled as she hugged me. The moment she hugged me, I made a promise to myself. A promise of never hurting Alaya. A promise I could never keep.

Breaking Up(Part 2)

This is a continuation of my last post Breaking up(part 1)..in case you haven't read it check it out at- http://suman32blog.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-year-sam-one-year-we-have-been.html

One month passed. Riya took over Nidhi. She used to call me, force me to study and do everything which Nidhi did, except having intimate romance though. But I still missed Nidhi. She had become an important part of my life. Every minute came one new sms from Nidhi. All her sms led to one point, she was extremely sorry for what she has done, how much she loves me and all those crap. I never replied. My days used to pass by staring at her in classes. One day Riya noticed me doing that.
‘Go to her,’ she whispered.
‘Huh?’ I turned to her, astonished.
‘You can stare at her later, copy down the notes first,’ she said smiling.
I looked down, at my copy. Rest of the class I didn’t stare at Nidhi fearing to be caught by Riya again .As tuition was over and I was out, Riya called me. ‘Hey Sameer, wait,’
I turned back at her. And then I turned to Nidhi. Nidhi was shuffling her eyes between me and Riya. I wondered what Nidhi must be feeling. Maybe she would have felt jealous. But honestly speaking, I wanted her to feel jealous, because what she had done with me wasn’t acceptable.
‘What happened?’ Riya shouted as I and Nidhi stared at each other.
‘Umm…Err…Nothing. Let’s go, come on,’ I tried to look away from Nidhi.
I am sure she cried that night. She must have, because it’s hard to even feel the one you love with someone else. Who knows that better than me?
As we walked down the CCD, I stared at the logo. I wanted to have a drink, whatever it is.
 Riya turned to me, ’Coffee?’
‘You just read my mind,’
She pushed me by my nose and pulled me inside the café. We ordered Swedish cocoa coffee and chips.
‘So?’ Riya was eager to start a conversation as I was checking one of Nidhi’s messages I received the last minute.
‘What?’ I asked blindly.
‘Let’s come to the point Sameer. You love her, you know that, I know that, half of the world knows that and I thank facebook for that. But, why are you not going back to her?’
‘What will happen to you then?’ I joked
‘You are not my boyfriend,’ she answered, a little pissed off.
‘But I think I have started liking you,’ I said as I put my hand on hers.
‘You are not my types,’ she answered as she finished her coffee.
The nest two months we spent together. We became close and I kissed Riya at least three times, twice drunk and once in my senses. But I still couldn’t forget Nidhi. She was still in my heart. The frequency of Nidhi’s messages had fallen a little bit by then. Previously it used to come every minute, then it had fallen down to every hour, and after these two months it became once a day. Her point in those messages changed from how much she loved me to how much she cared for me and respected every decision of mine.
‘Go back to Nidhi, she loves you’ Riya said after we made out for the first time.
‘Hmm, maybe,’ I answered.
She hugged me and said, ’Sameer, I always tell you to go to Nidhi, but today let me tell you this, otherwise I wont be able to forgive myself. Please stay, don’t leave me,’
I stayed silent.
She rubbed her tears and smiled, ‘Don’t mind, I had to say this. Go to Nidhi,’
Exams were over and we were invited to Rahul’s house for our final get-together. All of us turned up, except Nidhi. Riya was looking gorgeous, way better than others because her only competition Nidhi decided not to attend.
I asked Smita,’Where is Nidhi?’
‘She has left for Rajasthan, sighting some personal problem. I thought you would know,’
‘I didn’t know,’ I said and went to the balcony to cry alone. Why didn’t she tell me? Has she forgotten me? I was lost in thought. The next thing I remember is that I was in the road searching for a taxi that could take me to the airport. Then suddenly a car bumped on me. From it came out Riya, ‘Need help?’
‘I am loosing her,’ I cried.
‘You won’t unless I am here, ‘she said as she drove me to the airport.
She dropped me in front of the gate, ‘Go Sameer,’
‘What about you?’
‘I’ll be going to Detroit tomorrow, forever,’
‘Bye Riya. And thank you,’
As I turned I heard her whispering to herself ‘I love you’. But I had to go to Nidhi.
‘Nidhi,’ I called out spotting her.
‘Hi Sam,’ she came walking towards me surprised. Her sister was also there
‘How are you?’ I asked.
‘I am fine, but suddenly?’
‘Why did you do this to me?’
She smiled and said, ‘You know Sam, I did nothing. I just wanted to see whether you love me as much as I do. I love you so much Sam, that even after knowing in between this three months you have done so many things with Riya, I don’t mind loving you. Because I love you so much, that I can accept you even after you murder anyone. But you, you didn’t even bother to sit and talk with me about it when I said you everything. It’s all because of your ego. Sam .I love you and will always do so. I am pure, and nobody except you have even touched me that way, I even given my heart and soul to you, but we cant stay together,’ and then she started walking away.
‘Please forgive me, I am sorry,’ I whispered in her ears catching hold of her hand. My nose touched her ears. One drop of tear from my eyes fell on her cheeks and one from her eyes fell on my hand.
‘Sam, pull down your ego, otherwise you’ll never get any other girl in life, and all are not as stupid as me. Bye, take care and love you,’ she moved towards to boarding pass counter.
‘I love you Nidhi,’ I cried.
‘Bye Sam, take care, don’t drink much and please learn to clean your mess alone because I am not there with you anymore to do that,’ and she gave me a flying kiss.
Within minutes she was lost among the crowds, leaving me alone forever in this world. I still love her. I really do. Love you Nidhi! :’-(

Breaking up!! (Part 1)

‘One year Sam, one year we have been together. Isn’t that awesome?’ Nidhi shouted sipping her first shot of Tequila.
‘It is, it definitely is,’ I said as I was prepared to take my sip. We were in the new Roxy Park lounge night club to celebrate our one year anniversary, accompanied by Rahul, Smita, Riya and Mayank.
One shot.
It hit my head. My throat burned. The music went louder. The lights hit my eyes.
Second shot.
It hit harder. My stomach burned. The music blurred.
Third shot. Fourth shot. Fifth shot. I lost count. As I finished the last one Nidhi shouted, ‘Can we dance?’
I nodded.
One nod and she grabbed me by my neck and pulled me into her as we grappled for space in the dance floor. Her tongue run over my ears as her hands grabbed my hair. I felt my hands going all over her and hers going all over me. She pulled me, kissed me ad bit me. Then she left me panting and walked off the dance floor.
‘What happened?’
‘Washroom,’ she said as she made an excuse-me-I-am-sorry-baby-will-be-returning-in-a-minute look.
Nidhi was in the washroom, Mayank, Smita and Rahul were in the dance floor. I was panting so went and sat beside Riya.
‘Won’t you be dancing?’ I asked her.
‘I am little too drunk,’ she said and put her hands around my neck.
‘Yes you seem so,’ I said, my head still spinning.
‘And you seem awesome Sameer,’ she said, her eyes closing down and she leaning towards me. She hugged me. I felt her pushing her body towards me. Her face hovered over mine. I felt her lips brush against mine. We kissed.
‘Sam?’ I heard a voice and looked back. It was Nidhi.
‘Nidhi I am sorry, she just came on to me,’ my senses were back.
She didn’t listen. Next day she sent me a sms asking me to meet her.
‘Why? Sam? Why?’ she cried when we met.
‘I love you; I was not in my senses. Please forgive me,’
‘I want to forgive you. But I don’t know what to do,’
‘Please don’t do this,’ I begged.
‘Lets stay away from each other for a little time, I love you Sam,’ she kissed on my cheeks and left me standing there, crying.
 I kept calling her but she disconnected every time. I messaged her but she didn’t reply. I kept crying whole night.
Everyday I used to see her in school with Karan. I felt like killing that son of a bitch.
One week passed. My days became like hell. I missed her.
‘It happened because of me, I am sorry,’ Riya said as she came and sat beside me in tuition.
‘Its OK, she is just taking a break,’
Slowly and slowly I became good friends with Riya. Nidhi never replied me and I needed support and Riya used to give me that. She used to help me with notes, assignments and even talk with me to make me feel better.
‘You love her a lot?’ she would ask.
‘You doubt that?’
‘Hope I get a lover like you,’
‘You are hot; anyone will love to fuck you, and it also includes me,’
‘Ya but I want love stupid,’ she would wink every time
Then one night Nidhi called me. I met her next day.
‘I am sorry, did you forgive me?’ I asked her.
‘You know Sam, I had forgiven you the minute you did what you did. But it made me scared, that how can I forgive you so easily? I mean how can I love you so much? What if you leave me any day? What will happen to me?’ she said as she broke into tears.
I hugged her.
‘Did you miss me?’ I asked
She nodded.
‘Why? Isn’t Karan interesting?’ I mocked.
‘You are the best, ‘she winked.
Things became normal again. Nidhi became mine and Riya my best friend. One day I was checking Nidhi’s cell and I saw it. Karan and Nidhi together in a photo with the message Why didn’t I meet her before? She is awesome
‘What is this?’ I showed her the picture.
She hesitated.
After asking five times she spoke up, ‘I kissed him,’
'What? When?'
'When I was in a break,'
‘Are you serious? Well good. How did he taste? Was he better than me?’ I started shouting.
‘I don’t know, it didn’t mean anything. I love you,’ she started weeping.
‘Stop this loving crap. When I kissed her, I was drunk. You weren’t. You bloody whore, get lost’ I shouted banging the door.
Now it was my turn .I didn’t receive her phone calls, didn’t reply to her messages, I ignored her. She sent me probably more than a 100 messages, but I replied to none. I was burning inside. Why did she do this to me? Was she bored of me? Why Nidhi why? I kept sobbing whole night. Somehow I slept that night.
Next morning I woke up and suddenly started missing her. I called Riya and narrated everything.
‘You should accept it; even you did that mistake. Grow up Sameer,’ she said
I nodded and dialed Nidhi’s number.
‘Nidhi, I can’t live without you, I am sorry. Forgive me and come back,’ I broke into tears.
‘You know what Sam, I don’t deserve you,’ she said softly.
‘What are you saying? Just look at you and look at me. You are out of my league, still you love me,’ I said, a little confused.
‘No Sam, it’s not that. Actually it wasn’t just a kiss. Me and Karan, we crossed the line,’ she started crying.
‘Fuck, I knew it. You are just a slut. Nidhi, it’s over, I am breaking up,’
‘Sam please, I love you. I can’t live without you,’ she cried
‘Bye. Take care and don’t call me back,’ and I disconnected.
I called Riya and explained everything to her. ‘Can we meet?’ I asked her.
‘Why are you doing this with her?’ Riya asked me when we met.
‘She fucking slept with someone else. She is doing everything, I just broke up,’
‘So what? Put down your male ego,’ she shouted ‘and go back to her,’
‘She was fucked by someone else when she was committed to me,’
So what? You were ready to fuck me when you were committed to her,’ she answered back.
‘Ya but I didn’t,’
‘But you wanted to. If I would have allowed, you have fucked me,’ she said quiet confidently.
‘Whatever, ‘I shrugged and walked away from there.


P.S-this story has a 2nd part http://suman32blog.blogspot.com/2011/01/breaking-uppart-2.htmly.
       this story is inspired by the great Durjoy Datta.